A
Counselor's Holiday Wish
ã by Robert J.
Chapman, Ph. D.
It occurs to me as I sit at my desk,
listening to a Billy Joel CD - River of Dreams - that a likely explanation for
the evolution of life on the planet to a point where it includes sentient
beings such as myself, is that it was deemed necessary that there should be at
least one species on the planet with an awareness of its reason for existence.
Now, this belief is predicated on my belief that there is some semblance of a
higher power that/who has played a role in setting this thing called evolution
in motion - exploring that conundrum is beyond my ability as scholar and
interest as a human entering his "middlesent" stage of life. I choose
to believe there is a higher power and that this entity had some purpose in
manipulating variables to see to it that I happened to be on this planet at
this particular time - nothing like dismissing a topic many would argue is open
for debate by simply proffering the premise that some things are simply true
even if we cannot prove them.
And just what might be the reason why this
sentient form of life has come to exist, to have this thing called
"self-awareness?" I argue that it is because there is the need for at
least one species to be able to articulate its reason for being. Reflecting on
the wake my passage through the last 50 years of this sojourn "around the
great pond" has left on the shore, it occurs to me that this "raison
d'être" has been to reach a point where it was possible to recognize that
this thing called "life" has been different as the result of my
having been here. It is the realization that just as I can list an almost
endless litany of experiences that have shaped the choices I have made and the
experiences I have had, so can countless others list me or my actions as an
item on their lists of critical incidents in their lives. It also occurs to me
that not only have I been placed on this earth to simply make a difference in
the "spin" that has been placed on the experiences of all creation,
but more specifically, to have placed a "positive" spin on this
existence.
There was a time when I would receive just
the slightest glimpse of this purpose for being, but was unable to get my arms
around the entire concept. Understanding escaped me, mostly because of being
too focused on the origin of the glimpse and questioning the source of the
insight rather than embracing it as just that, insight, intuition, a
"sixth-sense." By leaning too much on my own understanding, it was
difficult to see the reason for my being as it was displayed in the smile of a
child or the gratitude of a stranger for whom I just held the door. As John
Lennon said, "Life is what happens while we are making plans." I was
too focused on the destination to realize that it is the journey that is of
substance. But how does one come to appreciate the journey, to realize the
importance of the present moment? How do we learn to look back, but not stare
into the past? How do we come to recognize that all events, even the chaotic
and traumatic, are part of an existence on this planet that is not so much
"good nor bad," but simply meaningful. As Victor Frankl is famous for
saying, "that which does not kill me makes me stronger." All
experience then is simply potential grist for the mill that grinds out the
meaning and purpose in one's life.
I glance back over my shoulder and note the
opportunity to learn at the knee of a grandfather whose wisdom was never
reflected in his academic credentials or public accomplishment, but who found
meaning in his life in the little things he could do for others. I see my tepid
involvement in the social activism of the sixties and its lessons about pursuing
one's passion for life and the worth in addressing the plight of those who are
less fortunate or are oppressed . Then there was the opportunity to catch the
slightest of glimpses of the importance of the entirety of creation and serving
others while working side by side with my Native American brothers and sisters
on a reservation in rural New York. There was the opportunity to discover my
value and significance as seen through the eyes of a woman who chose to share
her life with me and invest in the potential she saw there. And the opportunity
to see in my adult children the truth of the old adage quoted so often by my
grandmother, "as the twig is bent, so grows the tree."
How do we come to discover the beauty in a
life all too often filled with pain and suffering? I think it may have
something to do with Richard Bach's exhortation that "there is no such
thing as a problem without its gift inside. The reason we have problems is
because we need their gifts." Whether it is the music and lyrics born of
pain and penned by Billy Joel, the films of Frank Capra inspired by the depths
of misery during the great depression and W.W.II or the mosaics of St. Isaac's
in St. Petersburg produced by the masters who worked for next to nothing in
Czarist Russia more than a century ago, this thing called life, for me, is
different because somehow and in some way, individuals followed their hearts
and listened to the passion that welled up from deep inside and could not be
contained by their pain or the reason and logic that the logical world tends to
use as a governor to hold back one's passion and creativity.
And where does this will to challenge the
admonishment of the pundits who would explain that dreams are the folly of the
undisciplined mind? Perhaps it is the sacrifice of a parent who chooses to rear
children as a profession rather than view parenting as simply a responsibility
or the tailor whose meticulous stitching results in works of art rather than
garments of superlative quality or a teacher who stays late, not to log
experience or advances in a career, but to give flight to the dreams of a child
reveling in the unbridled passions of youth. We all posses the ability to give
flight to the human spirit. Just as we have had to learn how to look for the
'gift inside the problem,' so do those with whom we share this planet need the
opportunity to learn this little bit of wisdom; we do best what we do
most...dream or commiserate.
Counselors are poised and in a position to
make this happen. While we are no better prepared or more qualified than the
day laborer or the parent or the professor to assist a fellow sojourner find
meaning in this life, counselors have the unique opportunity, at least in
western culture, to occupy a position recognized to be that of "helper."
To be a counselor is to be in a position to make this life just a little bit
better for those who have come to question its meaning and doubt it purpose.
I have been blest. I have had the opportunity
to cross the paths of some truly remarkable people in my 50 short years on this
planet - relatives, teachers, friends, artists, students, clients and more than
a few strangers who have touched my soul and never even knew how deeply,
shaping my life in countless and wondrous ways. Counseling is a profession,
yes, and it has afforded me the opportunity to feed my family and enjoy many of
the pleasures I have come to enjoy in this life, but most importantly it has
presented me with the opportunity to realize that I have had and continue to
have the opportunity to accomplish the very reason that I have been placed on
this earth...to leave this place, this plane of existence, in just a little bit
better shape for my having been here.
Peace and good will to you and your families
during this very special time of the year.
Robert
To read other holiday greetings from the author, click here.