We often hear about problems related to being raised by an alcoholic parent. To refer to adults raised in such a family as the adult children of an `alcoholic' (ACoA) suggests that the person with alcoholism alone caused the adult behaviors associated with the ACoA syndrome.

As I have worked with chemically dependent families through the years, I have learned that such an explanation is incomplete in that it suggests difficulties with trust, intimacy, self confidence, and other interpersonal problems experienced by ACOAs are the result of the adult's relationship with the addicted parent alone. Rather, I believe it is the learning that has taken place in the dysfunctional family system that has reinforced the individual behaviors or beliefs often problematic in adulthood.

To this end, it is not exclusively the addicted parent who has 'caused' the problems - each family member's dysfunction has influenced the behaviors of the other family members. With the passage of time, each new experience is filtered through attitudes, values, and beliefs established as that family's individual view of reality.

Granted, the family is dysfunctional and alcoholism is a recognizable source of that dysfunction, but it is the family that provides the reinforcement for the maladaptive behavior of its members. If this rationalization is logical, then it is the family that must share responsibility for the learning that has come to be recognized as the `ACoA syndrome'.

ACoAs are those individuals with a biological parent(s) with alcoholism. They are at a greater risk to develop alcoholism as the result of a genetic predisposition to the illness. But ACoAs are also those who have been raised in a dysfunctional family system and may not be the biological child of the alcoholic parent yet display the recognizable characteristics of the ACoA syndrome.

To this end, individuals who both have a parent with alcoholism and have been raised in the dysfunctional environment, are survivors. They are, perhaps, better referred to as ACOA²- Adult Children of an Alcoholic & of Alcoholism. As with any survivor, the memories are painful, but the most notable result of surviving is the skills developed and mastered which enabled the survival!

Adult problems that can be traced to ones childhood may best be viewed as learned within the family system and not exclusively attributed to a dysfunctional parent. This does not suggest that the trauma of a childhood steeped in family dysfunction or the abuse/neglect at the hands of an addict is insignificant. Rather, it suggests that it is as important to focus on the survival skills all ACoAs have learned and recognize the extent to which these skills can help compensate for the problems realized by adult children.

It is for this reason I suggest we recognize the difference between the terms Adult Children of Alcoholics and Adult Children of Alcoholism; that we acknowledge the difference between adult children of `whom' and of `what'.

To learn more about the ACoA syndrome, read It will never happen to me by C. Black, Perfect Daughters by R. Ackerman or view the video Roles, by C. Black.